Last Week: 6-10 Season: 110-123-7
Oakland (+3.5) at Kansas City
If Oakland wins, the Raiders will finish the season at a perfect 6-0 in the AFC West. I thought it would be another 20 years before I wrote that last sentence. And it would be the first time since 1970 that a team went undefeated in its division and did not make the playoffs. I should be surprised by this. (Remembering this is the same franchise that drafted someone named Darrius Heyward-Bey No.7 overall). Wait a minute, I'm not surprised at all!
Cincinnati (+10) at Baltimore
"I survived three hours with Carson Palmer," is something I hope I can say later today. And it's not two hours and 59 minutes, because the ol' interception returned for a touchdown is always in play when you're backing a Palmer-led team. But the Bengals have won three straight in this series, and nine of 12 overall, so I should be safe here. (At least that's what I keep telling myself).
Pittsburgh (-5.5) at Cleveland
Cleveland peaked in late October-early November. Unfortunately, that means there is two months of the season left, leading to a 1-4 record down the stretch. (Can't consider the 2010 Carolina Panthers an NFL team). But the more important thing here is: Will Peyton Hillis be the first white running back to ever be selected in the first round in next year's fantasy football drafts? These are the things we should be talking about!
Miami (+6) at New England
Chad Henne will throw for two touchdowns against the New England JV in what could be his final game as the starting quarterback for the Dolphins. Or something like that.
Carolina at Atlanta (-14)
I briefly considered taking Jimmy Clausen in the Georgia Dome in a game that means everything for the Falcons. I'm telling you, "The unpredictability of the 2010 NFL season drove me to it," is a defense that could acquit me of any crime in the country right about now.
Minnesota (+3.5) at Detroit
And now, for the game with a spread that's about 10-13 points different than what we thought it'd be at the start of the season. Really happy for the Lions, who are riding a three-game winning streak over teams with a combined record of 25-20. Nice job. But I'll side with Joe Webb here, who looked good
Buffalo (+1.5) at New York
I think the Jets will take their foot off the pedal here and treat this game like a preseason contest as they'll most likely enter the playoffs as the No. 6 seed. But the Jets will have to be careful not to shoot themselves in the foot if they want to make a deep run come playoff time.
Tampa Bay (+7.5) at New Orleans
Two teams that have impressed me all season long: New Orleans for not allowing a Super Bowl letdown and clinching the No. 5 seed and the resulting first-round bye, and Tampa Bay for having a shot at double-digit wins a year after going 3-13. Subplot I'm banking on happening: The Saints see Atlanta is thrashing Carolina, and decide to pull their starters late in the third quarter and rest them for the remainder of the game. And if that doesn't happen, I still have a pretty good team who is getting more than a touchdown.
New York (-4) at Washington
If Rex Grossman successfully navigates the Giants defense, and Eli Manning/Ahmad Bradshaw/Brandon Jacobs can't get going against a Redskins defense that is No. 31 against the pass and No. 25 against the run, I'll feel like my whole life has been a lie.
Arizona at San Francisco (-6)
Good God.
Tennessee at Indianapolis (-9.5)
During last Sunday's 34-14 loss to the Chiefs at Arrowhead Stadium, Titans defensive end William Hayes suffered a concussion when he was drilled in the head by a wayward Kerry Collins pass. "I've never had a player leave the game with a concussion after getting hit with the ball on the sideline," coach Jeff Fisher told NFL.com Sunday. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2010 Tennessee Titans!
Jacksonville at Houston (-3)
These two squads just seem like the most undisciplined, uninspiring and laziest teams in the league. Do I have any evidence to support these claims? None at all.
Dallas (+4) at Philadelphia
Even if gambling were legal, I'm not sure I could look myself in the mirror the next day knowing I bet on a game involving one team who is resting every relevant player on the roster and another team who is starting a third-string quarterback in his second year.
Chicago at Green Bay (-9.5)
Lovie Smith claims he has no plans to rest his starters. Along with all the sportsbooks across the country, I'm not buying it for a second. And this now means Philadelphia's loss to Minnesota marks the second time in three weeks the Eagles have driven a dagger through the playoff hopes of the Giants.
San Diego (-3.5) at Denver
With last week's loss to the Bengals, San Diego is now officially eliminated from playoff contention. Every legitimate fantasy league wrapped up its season with the championship last week. It has been announced that Norv Turner is returning next year. Unless you want to see Tebow, there are officially zero reasons to watch this game.
Seattle at St. Louis (-3)
A rookie quarterback. On the road. In front of one of the toughest crowds in the NFL. In primetime. With the winner clinching a division title. Everything I just said is negated by the fact that Charlie Whitehurst is starting for the Seahawks. When he got the call against the Giants, I didn't think he would be a significant downgrade from Matt Hasselbeck. And then I saw him play.
